


What If It's Love

by emma_b



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coming Out, Destiel - Freeform, Little bit of angst, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of Hallucifer, My First Destiel Fanfic, after season 5, caring for the impala, mentions of adam, quotes from the show, samifer or sabriel, you get to decide!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 17:46:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3332075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_b/pseuds/emma_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little one shot of what I'd have liked to see after season five ended. By that I mean, Lucifer didn't kill anyone that I love and basically Sam just overcame his possession and hopped into the pit with Michael/Adam and then Castiel raised him from perdition only with hallucifer side effects</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If It's Love

**Author's Note:**

> PSA: I think I stole a joke off tumblr that I used in here but I'm not 100% sure so if you see anything familiar I wanted this to be the disclaimer that I didn't come up with the joke and I'm giving credit to whoever it was (if it happens to be you, send me a message and I'll totally give you credit for your comedic genius). 
> 
> Another PSA: this was literally the first fanfic I've ever written so I'm sorry if it sucks I wrote this like three years ago so don't expect anything super amazing. Although if you thought it was super amazing let me know bc I love to hear compliments :)

Things had been quiet for the last couple of days and the Winchesters didn’t mind one bit. It’s not often that they got a few days off, especially in their line of work. It felt good to kick back with a beer and maybe try to  _actually_ laugh for once, instead of their usual cynicism sodden ‘laughter’.

Maybe now would be a good time to figure out how to get Adam out of the pit… who knows. Who knew what they could accomplish before the next monster terrorized another town.

“Still nothin’?” Dean asked Bobby. Dean was always the one who _had_ to keep hunting. He felt like if you weren’t hunting, then what were you doing? Nothing? Just sitting around like this? It was especially hard for Dean to try to live ‘normally’ after the whole Ben and Lisa fiasco happened.

Bobby checked his phone for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. “No,” he said gruffly. “There weren’t any calls the last time you asked me and there won’t be any the next time you do.”

“Sorry,” he said and took a swig out of his beer, finishing it off. “I’m just _bored_ , I don’t know what to do when I’m not hunting. Where’s Sammy?”

“Getting groceries,” Bobby said, fingering through the pages of an old, dusty book.

“Did you tell him to get pie?” he asked.

Bobby looked up from the book with apologetic eyes. “Sorry, Dean I forgot to remind him. Maybe he’ll see some and think of you.”

“Probably not,” he pouted. “That herbivore will go straight for the leaves and fruit and leave the good stuff behind.”

Bobby smiled, knowing that’s exactly what will happen.

“I’m bored,” Dean sighed again after a few minutes of silence.

“You could help me try to figure out a way to get Adam out of the pit,” Bobby said flipping the pages of the same book.

“Umm…”

“Or you could give that angel a call, maybe he could entertain you. Or just get you away from me,” Bobby muttered.

Dean looked at the floor and half laughed, trying not to remember why he wasn’t speaking with Castiel at the moment. “I think I’m just going to give Baby a wash, maybe a tune-up,” he said, not really wanting to. He did all those things two days ago.

Dean didn’t wait for Bobby’s reply to leave the room. He put his empty on the counter next to the others that he’s drank today.

Sammy had commented on how Dean’s drinking has increased over the past few months but that didn’t really register on Dean’s radar as a problem.

Dean walked out to the back of Bobby’s house where Baby was parked. She was still shining from the wash he had given her a few days ago, and Dean could just _tell_ she was begging to be driven again.

“Soon,” Dean said quietly, patting the hood of Baby.

“Soon what?” a very familiar deep voice asked. The voice of Castiel, who was now standing a mere three inches away from Dean. “Hello Dean.”

“Cas!” Dean exclaimed in surprise. “I- we talked about this… personal space?”

“Sorry,” Cas said, taking a step backwards.

Dean cleared his throat, trying to ease the awkward tension that sometimes rode on the coattails of Castiel’s trench coat. Awkwardness seemed to follow him around a lot. Dean took a look at Cas and gave him a confused look. “What happened to your coat?” he asked. Cas was, for whatever reason, quite fond of that coat.

Cas looked at himself. “I’m not sure,” he said with a lost look in his eyes that made Dean want to reach out and-

And do nothing because it wasn’t like that between Dean and Cas.

And as if his subconscious was mocking him, a voice in the back of his mind said, _so how do you explain what happened the other night_?

Dean tried to shake the thought off, but it kept hanging on at the back of his mind.

“So where have you been the past few days?” Dean asked, leaning against the car.

Cas looked at him quizzically. “I went to Disney Land,” he said. “There was a princess there that reminded me of you,” he added thoughtfully.

Dean looked away uncomfortably and tried not to smile. “How did you get there?” he asked.

“A bus,” Cas said and loosened his tie. “I sat next to a large, old woman for the whole trip. She had a distinct cat-like smell.”

“Sounds like you had a fun time,” Dean said dismissively and popped the hood of his car.

“I would have had more fun if you were with me,” Cas said. “I had a lot of questions and the other travelers weren’t so kind as to answer them for me. I texted you a few times, but you didn’t answer me.”

“Uh, sorry about that. Service at Bobby’s can get a little spotty sometimes,” Dean lied.

Cas looked at Dean as if he didn’t believe him.

Dean tried to clear his throat and ease the tension but it wasn’t working. Cas didn’t say anything about it though.

“Dean I don’t know why you’ve been avoiding me,” he said. “Is it because of what happened-”

“I thought we agreed to not talk about that?” Dean asked calmly, checking the oil that he knew was perfectly fine.

Cas sighed, stepping closer to Dean. “You know I’m just as confused about that as you are, but that doesn’t mean you have to be evasive with me,” Cas said.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, frustrated. “I’m just confused and frustrated and I don’t know what to make of it.”

“I understand,” Cas nodded.

“It’s just not natural,” Dean sighed and sank to the ground. He laughed to himself _it’s not even supernatural_. He made those puns a lot, mostly in his head, ever since he found out about those stupid books.

Cas walked over to Dean and looked down at him with a torn expression.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I’d like to join you on the ground, but I don’t want to get my suit dirty,” Cas said. “I usually have my trench coat… but… I don’t know where that…went…”

Dean sighed. “Just sit down next to me so we can figure this out. We gotta talk about it, Cas.”

“You went from not wanting to talk to wanting to talk in a course of five minutes,” Cas said taking a seat next to Dean. “Interesting.”

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Dean said and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, which needed to be washed.

Cas didn’t say anything, he just stared at Dean with a straight expression on his face and his blue eyes piercing through his soul.

“I guess, I mean, it’s not natural,” he sighed. “I’ve loved girls my whole life and then I see you and it’s like… shit.”

“You know I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation, Dean,” Cas said.

“I know. But it’s like, when I stabbed you the first time we met and I looked at you I _really_ looked at you and I just thought ‘whoa, he’s pretty’,” Dean said. “And I think that’s where it all started.”

Cas cocked his head to the side, as if he was getting a better look at Dean. He smiled slightly, “You think I’m pretty?”

“Well,” Dean grunted. “Yeah.”

Cas looked at the house, someone came home. It was Sam and apparently he forgot the pie. “I think I am very aesthetically pleasing, I cannot blame you,” he said.

Dean shook his head. “You know I’m very fond of you, Cas even though you can be invasive and creepy sometimes. I just feel like we have this sort of bond?” Dean squeaked. The words didn’t sound right.

“I do agree, we have a profound bond that even I can’t explain,” Cas said.

“Maybe we can now?” Dean asked, he was so unsure of everything he was saying but this was different. Picking up chicks on a job or at a bar was easy for him, he was confident and comfortable but this..? Dean never felt so insecure of himself in his life. He had never been more nervous. Cas made everything so complicated.

He tried to explain, “I mean you’re like _cake_ or something. I love pie but I see you’re like this really good looking piece of cake and I took a bite of that cake a few days ago and I don’t know if I’m ever gonna want pie again, you know?”

“I don’t understand,” Cas said in that voice he uses when he’s confused. He had that quizzical look on his face that made Dean’s heart melt a thousand times over. He was so fond of him.

Dean sighed, “I didn’t expect you to, Cas.”

“Dean, may I ask you something?” Cas said.

“What is it, Cas?”

“Do you know what the definition of love is?” Cas asked.

Dean shrugged, “To like someone a lot?” He knew it was a poor excuse for an answer, but he felt so ridiculous already, why add to it?

“One of your most sacred keepers of the human spoken word, Merriam Webster, defines it as a strong affection for another, or attraction based on sexual desire, or an affection or and tenderness felt by lovers,” Cas said, turning to look at him. “Do you feel any of that for me?”

Dean thought about it. Did he love Cas? Well, sure he loved him but was he _in love_ with him? “I never really thought about it Cas,” he said.

“Do you love me Dean?” Cas asked.

He didn’t respond.

“Do you remember the pizza man and the babysitter? The pizza man really didn’t love the babysitter but he kissed her like he did,” Cas said. “He made love to her like he did. Dean, did you kiss me like you loved me or did you kiss me _because_ you love me?”

“I… I don’t know,” Dean said. “I don’t know why I kissed you. All I know is that when I kissed you I couldn’t pull away. I didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t want you to,” Cas said.

“I’ve always felt like I had to be around you. Like there was some sort of force between us, pulling us together. Kind of like magnets,” Dean said.

“I understand, I feel that as well,” Cas said.

“You haven’t told me how you feel Cas,” Dean said.

“I gave up everything for you Dean, everything. How could you think that I felt anything less than love for you?” Cas asked. “I kissed you back the other day Dean, I didn’t shove you away, I didn’t smite you, and I didn’t stop you. I _enjoyed_ kissing you, it was something I wanted to try with you since I learned of it.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“How was it?”

“How was what?” Cas asked.

“How was the kiss, Cas,” Dean said, trying to stay patient.

“Your kissing expertise was excellent, just like I assumed it would be,” Cas said with a small smile.

The corners of Dean’s mouth turned upward, smug was written all over his face. “Damn straight it was.”

“So where does this leave us, Dean?” Cas asked. “As I understand, two people who feel a strong sexual attraction for each other engage in a relationship.”

“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” Dean asked, surprised.

“Am I supposed to?” Cas asked. “I don’t understand your human mating rituals.”

Dean laughed, “You can ask me to be your boyfriend if you want to. But I guess that you and me were always… together. Like it was implied. A package deal.”

Cas thought about it, he got this look on his face that you could tell he was really thinking _hard_ about something. “Is it implied?” he asked. “That we are together?”

“I think it is,” Dean said thoughtfully.

“I was trying to gain understanding of how you humans act when trying to engage in a romantic relationship,” Cas said. “And I think I gained some insight from one of your… musical entertainers?”

Dean sighed, Cas had been listening to the radio again. “What’s the advice?”

“Justin Bieber calls his girl ‘baby’ in his song. Should I call you baby? Also, should I think that you will always be mine?” Cas asked, the most serious expression on his face.

“You can call me whatever you want Cas,” he said. “And for that last part, let me show you rather than tell you.”

“Dean-” but Cas’s sentence was cut short as Dean kissed him right on his mouth.

And it felt like only moments later when Cas found himself lying on the dirty ground with Dean leaning over him, kissing him in a way that _had_ to be sinful. Dean was a mix of passion and tenderness that left Castiel in a haze of heat and lust and love and a whole other range of emotions he hadn’t yet experienced. Cas reached up and rand his hands down Dean’s sides, feeling the soft shirt and making out the hard muscles underneath the thin fabric. He ran his fingertips over Dean’s stomach softly and heard the hitch in Dean’s breath as he did so. Dean’s reaction to Cas touching him in that way made a small burning sensation in his stomach and he suddenly didn’t have enough room in his pants-

Dean’s mouth made his way to Cas’s neck and trailed down to this throat, nipping and sucking as he went. Cas’s moans of approval told Dean he should keep going, but he had a feeling they should stop before they got too carried away.

“Why are we stopping?” Cas asked when Dean’s lips left his throat.

“I just have a feeling that we should,” Dean said. He looked down at his… boyfriend? They were together but the word felt funny in his mouth and head. Dean supposed he would just refer to him as his angel because, really, that’s what he was. Dean looked down at Cas with a fondness so strong, he wasn’t sure how he denied his feelings for him so long.

“I like this,” Cas said. “You on top of me like you are now. I would like to be in this position more often.”

Dean cocked his eyebrow and gave him a look, surprised that Cas would say something like that. Although he was fairly blunt about everything else, so why not about what positions he prefers? “I think that can be arranged,” Dean smirked and kissed his nose.

“I think we should get up, Sam is going to call you,” Cas said just as Dean’s phone started to ring.

Dean got off Cas and shut the hood of his car quickly. He took his phone out of his pocket to answer it. “Sam.”

“Dean, hey. Bobby may have found something about getting Adam out of the pit,” Sam said.

“Alright, I’ll come inside in a moment,” Dean said.

“Where are you?” Sam asked, curiosity in his voice.

“I’m outside with Baby, I was going to give her a tune up but Cas showed up… we were just talking,” Dean said and winked at him.

Cas shot him a confused look, “But we weren’t-”

“Okay see you in a minute Sammy,” Dean said and hung up.

“Why did you lie to him, Dean?” Cas asked.

Dean shoved his phone back into his pocket, “Because I don’t think that Sam and Bobby should find out over the phone.”

“Good,” Cas said. “I was worried you were going to disagree with me. I don’t think they should find out just yet.”

“Why not?” Dean asked, almost offended.

“Given Sam’s Lucifer-hallucinogenic mental state and Bobby’s old fashioned roots, I don’t think it would be the best idea,” Cas said as they made their way to the house.

“They’ll be fine,” Dean said, a rise forming in his voice.

“I’m not sure about that,” Cas disagreed in a flat tone.

“What are you embarrassed to be with me?” Dean asked suddenly on the defensive. The feeling of being hurt and rejected washed over him in an instant and he then remembered why he didn’t do relationships. “Am I not good enough for Castiel, angel of the Lord?”

“That is not what this is about,” Cas shook his head.

“You don’t want to be known as the angel who fell for the human?” Dean accused him. “Because that is bullshit Cas and I’m not going to accept that.”

“Dean I am not embarrassed to be with you,” Cas said sternly, looking him directly in the eye. “I’m indifferent to sexual orientation but I’m not sure your brother and Bobby are.”

“So?” Dean yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “That doesn’t matter, what they think doesn’t matter to me!”

“I’m not going to be the reason your family doesn’t want anything to do with you,” Cas said. “I researched and I’ve seen what families do to their homosexual counterparts. We need to test the waters-”

“Fuck that!” Dean yelled. “I want to be with you and I want everyone else to know that I’m with you. I don’t do this a lot, relationships aren’t my thing. So if I’m with you Cas, I’m _with you_. All the way. One-hundred percent.”

“I want to be with you ‘all the way’ as well,” Cas’ eyes fell to the ground. “I just want to make sure that they would be okay with this.”

“I don’t care if they’re okay with this. This is between me and you, not all four of us.”

Cas looked up at him. “I’m aware, I think I know how these relationships work.” He was always very level headed, unlike Dean who wanted to steam roll anyone who disagreed with him. It was like they balanced each other out, as if they were made for each other.

Dean opted to walk away from Cas rather than continue to fight with him. He’d never felt more rejected in his life.

“Dean,” Cas sighed, but inevitably ended up following after him.

It was silent on the way up to the house until Cas broke it. “I think we just need to wait a few days,” Cas said when they approached the house.

“But _why_?” Dean exclaimed. He turned the handle and walked into the house. They were in the kitchen with Sam and Bobby in the next room. “They love me, they love you, why wouldn’t they be okay with it? We’re family, we stick together.”

“I’m just unsure.”

“I’m quite sure that it will be _fine_.”

“Do we need to separate you two?” Sam asked, joining them in the kitchen.

“No,” Dean snapped. “Castiel is just being difficult baby.”

“And Dean is being stubborn and irrational, as usual,” Cas said, shooting him a cold look.

Dean scowled, he knew Cas was like this. He knew what he was getting into when he decided it was for the best to talk to Cas about their kiss the other day. Dean didn’t understand why Cas was so hesitant to tell them. He was also fairly sure they would pick up the hint if they heard Dean and Cas having sex during the night time. Maybe during the day, who knows how spontaneous Cas was.

“So let’s hear about Adam,” Dean said and walked into the living room. He took a seat on the couch and Cas promptly sat next to him… but not too close. And by that he means on the other side of the couch.

Sam shot Dean a questionable look, to which Dean just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe we _should_ separate you two,” Sam tried to joke, looking at Bobby who didn’t look too pleased. Sam took the seat between Dean and Cas. Nice and cozy and no elbow room. “Better?”

“No,” Dean barked. “If anything, it’s worse. Wouldn’t you agree, Castiel?”

“What are you referring to, Dean?” Cas asked, confused.

“Think about it,” Dean said, leaning over Sam to bicker some more. “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

“I-I don’t understand,” Cas said, his blue eyes shown with confusion and hurt.

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and tried to calm himself down.

“…So Sam can still communicate with Lucifer,” Bobby got up from his desk and looked between the three boys. “Which means we can get information from him…”

Bobby babbled on about the pit and demons and devil traps, while Cas kept texting Dean and asking why he was upset with him.

“Damnit Dean would you turn that thing off?” Bobby said, throwing his papers on his desk. “I’m trying to talk and, I dunno, _get your brother out of the pit_.”

“Half-brother,” Dean said as he shut off his phone. He shot Cas a dirty look.

“Who in the hell keeps texting you like that?” Bobby asked.

“Cas,” Dean answered gruffly.

“Idjits,” Bobby muttered.

“I’ll say,” Sam sighed. “I’m kind of wishing I didn’t sit in between them now.”

Cas shot Dean a concerned look. “I understand that Dean is upset and I’m trying to cheer him up without interrupting you Bobby.”

“You _know_ what will make me happy,” Dean bickered.

“Will it make you _that_ happy?” Cas asked, surprised.

“Yes!” Dean exclaimed, exasperated.

“Well I’m only concerned with your happiness and well-being,” Cas said, trying to hide a small smile playing on his lips. “So if it would make you that happy, go ahead.”

Dean smiled and his heart swelled with fondness for this angel. Maybe Dean really _was_ in love with him. Cas, noticing how happy this really _has_ made Dean, smiled back at him. Dean leaned over Sam and pressed his lips to Cas’; the kiss itself was very chaste and only lasted for a few seconds. Within seconds Dean pulled away from Cas to return to his seat, but Cas stopped him and kissed him again before Dean got a chance to sit down.

This time it was less chaste.

By the time the two boys separated Bobby muttered something about those two having more sexual tension than he’s ever had with any woman.

Sam’s face, however, was truly horror struck. The only thing running through his mind was _oh shit, I’m fucking my brother’s boyfriend’s brother._


End file.
